Quiz: How Good Are Your Relationship Communication Skills?
Anyone who's ever been in a relationship--that means almost all of us--knows that while cruising along life's highway in tandem with someone else, bumps are bound to appear. Potholes sometimes. Even roadblocks. Skillful driving, plenty of fuel and a good roadmap are needed to stay the course. That's what good communication is all about.
Take the following quiz to find out how you fare in relationship communication skills.
True False
1. I don't assume my partner can read my mind. I say what I'm thinking and feeling.
2. I acknowledge my partner for being, not just doing. I say "what I appreciate about you is ..."
3. I'm specific about issues I want to discuss.
4. I stay in the present rather than bringing up the past and I try to resolve one problem at a time.
5. I try to bring up concerns or objections as soon as they occur, or at the first appropriate opportunity.
6. I focus on the positive aspects of our relationship, rather than dwelling on the negative or hard times.
7. I speak in "I" messages rather than "you" messages, saying "I feel hurt," rather than "you hurt me."
8. When I'm wrong, I apologize. And when my mate apologizes, I accept readily.
9. I don't blame my mate when I'm having a bad day or take it out on her/him when something goes wrong.
10. Just like I don't expect my partner to read my mind, I can't expect to read hers/his. When I have questions about something, I ask.
11. I don't criticize or show contempt for my partner. I often say what I appreciate about my partner.
12. I never become physically aggressive or threaten harm.
13. I don't shout or yell at my partner. When things start to escalate, we take time outs.
14. I don't call names or label actions (that's a "man's issue" or a "woman's thing," a "stupid" mistake).
15. When something needs to be talked through or resolved, I don't avoid my partner or withdraw. I don't avoid issues, either.
16. I keep my communications as simple and clear as possible, rather than sending double messages like "I need your help/leave me alone."
17. I listen. I make time and stay present.
18. When issues come up that we can't work through alone, or communications break down, I'm willing to ask for outside help.
19. I say I'm sorry. I say I forgive you. I say excuse me. I say please. I say thank you.
20. I say I love you often.
Not everyone can answer true to all the questions all the time, but if you think your communications skills could use some tuning up, don't hesitate to call.
