April 2011

Clearing Away the Clutter

I was looking for a reference book in my office a few weeks ago. I looked everywhere I could think of and I still couldn't find it. It really bothered me that I couldn't find that book because I'm generally well organized. The book finally turned up a few days ago when I cleared a huge pile of papers off my work table. It was there all the time, but was hidden from my sight by all the other stuff on top of and around it. The whole incident got me to wondering what other stuff that might be hiding under my physical and mental clutter.

This month's feature article is about tolerations - all that stuff that is obscuring what we really want and need in our lives. I encourage you to take an honest inventory of your stuff, both physical and mental. What is bringing joy to your life and what is dragging you down? To help you get started with this exercise, join me for a free teleclass on Wednesday, April 20, 2011. You'll find more information on the class in this newsletter.

Spring is a time of renewal. That which has lain dormant during the darkness of winter springs forth with fresh and vibrant growth. I wish the same for you.

What Are You Tolerating?

What do a boss who's always yelling at you, your mate's over-spending habits, a cluttered house or office, tight shoulders and a ho-hum (or bad) relationship have in common?

They're all tolerations, those little or big things we put up with--often without realizing it--that sap our energy and drain our life force. Every time we tolerate or put up with something we don't want, we deplete the energy we could be using to make desired changes or to simply experience joy in our life. It's like living with a low-grade fever or nagging pain that somehow dulls our experience and zaps our full vitality.

At the root of our tolerations are a variety of limiting beliefs that immobilize us. For example: "That's just the way it is." "I'm not good enough." "Don't rock the boat--play it safe." "Don't complain or be too demanding." "I don't have enough time/money/support." "I'm too fat/old/ugly/dumb/etc."

There are countless limiting beliefs, yet they all serve to dampen our life force and keep us playing small. And, boy, are they exhausting!

If we are committed to feeling better about ourselves, to making changes that will bring us greater peace of mind and happiness, it will greatly help to evaluate and eliminate the tolerations standing in our way. Here are some ideas on how to do that:

Appraise. Make an honest appraisal of what you are tolerating in each of the areas of your life: home environment, health, work, money, relationships and so on. Write down everything that annoys you or that you feel you are putting up with. You will likely come up with more than 100 of these tolerations!

Evaluate. Examine each underlying limited belief that has kept you putting up with these things. Again, get support to help you break through them. You may be so close to some of these beliefs that you can't fully recognize them for what they are.

Appreciate. Take an honest look at what you are getting out of keeping things as they are. There is always some kind of payoff for whatever is going on in your life. Who in your life--or what part of you--does not want things to change? Appreciate that person or part, and look for ways for it to be win-win for all concerned.

Choose. Based on your values and goals, you get to choose. What will you say "no" to and what will you say "yes" to? Make sure the yeses really excite you and that the no's are clear. Commit to making them real!

Plan. With the support of friends, family, or your coach, develop a strategy for eliminating these tolerations. You don't have to do it alone--in fact, it's useful and helpful to partner up or create a support team.

Begin. If your list of tolerations is long, you might feel overwhelmed and not know where to begin. In her book You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay urges us to clean the rooms of our mental house beginning with the "smallest and easiest rooms." Go for the low-hanging fruit and see what success looks like.

As you eliminate tolerations one-by-one with slow and steady progress, you will start to feel the joy of being at choice, an increase in your vitality, and a sense of empowerment. Then YOU will be in the driver's seat of your life...and won't that be a beautiful and worthwhile ride!

Author's content used with permission, © Claire Communications

Spring Cleaning Tips for Your Life

Spring is the time to clean up and clear out the clutter to make room for new growth and renewal.

Do you know the saying, "the straw that broke the camel's back?" Basically, it means reaching the point of failure -- the breaking point -- due to the cumulative effect of situations that are trivial or inconsequential on their own. In coaching lingo, these situations are called tolerations. Tolerations are things you are putting up with, including some people, aspects of your job, your physical environment, your body image, expectations, etc.

Tolerations drain your energy and keep you from doing and being your best!

Join me for a complimentary teleclass on Wednesday, April 20, 2011 from noon to 1:00 p.m. Eastern to learn more about the draining effects of tolerations and how you can begin to eliminate them from your life. With a small investment in time and awareness, you can begin to notice and clean up what you are tolerating. With fewer tolerations in your life and less of what you don't want, you create the space and energy for what you do want.

Register for this one-hour teleclass at http://springcleaningtips4life.eventbrite.com. This event is complimentary.