The Curious Life—Opening Doors in Life and Relationship

Curiosity has been given a bad rap. Perhaps we grew up hearing that asking questions was rude or conveyed ignorance. Maybe we were told we’d get into trouble if we were like Curious George. Even worse, we might have received the warning that "Curiosity killed the cat!"

The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your life and your relationships.

According to the dictionary, curiosity is: "The desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness." The gifts that accompany curiosity are: openness, sincerity, courage and the willingness to take chances. The opposite attributes include: apathy, boredom, disinterest, indifference and unemotionality.

Curiosity in Life
Helen Keller said "Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!" When you cultivate an attitude of curiosity, doors open and adventures begin; questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself, "What do I want to learn now and where might that lead me?" can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward. If instead you come from the place of "I already know what I need to know," you shut off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world.

Curiosity in Relationships
How often we assume we know what someone else is thinking or experiencing. What would happen if we came from a place of not knowing and offered others an invitation to speak? According to Sharon Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, "A non-defensive question is innocently curious, reflecting the purity of the child who asks how a flower grows or what makes an airplane fly." We invite others to share their true experience when we ask questions without hidden agendas and in order to clarify our understanding. How might our relationships with partners, family, business associates and friends transform if we asked questions with curiosity, openness and neutrality?

Curiosity with Yourself
As easy as it is to blame others when things go wrong, we can also be overly hard on ourselves when things don’t go just right. Consider being curious about your experience rather than critical. For example, instead of beating yourself up for always putting things off to the last minute, get curious and ask yourself what goes on for you that you keep setting things up this way? With a loving attitude of "How fascinating that I’ve created this!" you are much more likely to help yourself find new solutions.

Practice Cultivating Curiosity
Here are some ways to help cultivate a more curious life.

Questions. Practice asking questions with openness and neutrality. Practice with strangers in stores, as well as with people close to you. Let go of thinking you know the answers already, and be open to being surprised!

Inquiry. An inquiry is an open-ended question designed to broaden your perspective. Some examples are: "What would make life a daring adventure for me?" "Where in my life do I assume I already know?"

Assumptions. These impact how we treat strangers as well as loved ones. Have you ever decided someone wasn’t worth talking to because of how he or she dressed or concluded that a loved one was angry with you, when actually, he or she had had a difficult day at the office? Challenge your assumptions by asking, “What if that’s not true?" What other choices might you make then?

If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in life and relationship, sprinkle liberal doses of curiosity and watch your life become the fabulous adventure it can be!

print this page