Winnis Chiang Newsletter
  Personal Note from Winnis - Where Are You Going?
  Feature Article - Living Your Own Life on a 2-way Street
  Free Training and Announcements - Identity Unleashed (Sold Out)
August 27, 2013
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I started going to church when our son was five. Now his daughter is almost five. A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of visiting churches with them. When my grandchildren and I walked up a slope, they were skipping and looking around with such excitement and enthusiasm. My heart was overflowed with joy and gratitude. Who could have imagined such a picture before 1989?

Although I already fulfilled the American dream in my early thirties, something important was missing in my life. When my marriage and parenting did not work, I felt frustrated and depressed to the point that I secretly contemplated a divorce. I thought it was all my husband's fault that I was unhappy. You see, James even promised to take me out to eat everyday before we got married when I told him I did not know how to cook. Why couldn't he love my child my way?!

Thank God that my midlife crisis came early so that I evaluated where I was going. Even though I wanted to live my own life, I also wanted a family with loving relationships! Yet in the heat of the moment, I often forgot my son was also James' son!

It was a long path to find lasting love, hope and help. By asking myself some difficult questions and making some tough choices, I received a new life in Christ that has allowed me to relate to God, myself, and others differently, day by day, moment by moment.

Determining how you are living is very important. It is your life after all. Do you feel frustrated about wasting your time and energy like a hamster running on the wheel like I did? In the feature article, Living Your Own Life on a 2-Way Street, there is a quiz to find out whether you are, more or less, living your own life.

Love, Joy and Peace to You,
Featured Article
Living Your Own Life on a 2-Way Street

Since my mom was unable to live her own life (that's another story for another time), she wanted me to be independent and take care of myself. She also warned me that I could not trust my husband completely or I would get hurt because "men are all the same."

When our son was young, I often yelled at James when we disagreed. If he frowned at another new toy I bought for our son, I would tell him loudly, "It is my money! I can buy whatever toys he wants! It is none of your business!" When James withdrew from such one-way heated arguments, I felt abandoned and yelled, "You don't care!"

Each of us were insisting that we were right, and it was the other person who needed to change. Unfortunately, when both of us reacted in defense, we were stuck in a negative interactive pattern. As our relationship continued to spiral downward, I was miserable and so was he. By the grace of God, we had a turning point, and learned that life was not completely our own.

Jesus said, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10:10).

Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with what's truly important to you as an individual. Do your decisions emerge from the essence of who you are -- not from who you think you should be? Take this quiz to see how well you are living a life that is of your own making.

1. I have spent time thinking about what's important to me, and I can articulate those things.

2. While I have been influenced by my parents, teachers, society and other outside forces, I have not simply adopted their values and beliefs. My own values and beliefs come from deep inside.

3. I am not easily swayed by others' opinions. I know my own mind.

4. In order to remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my opinions and beliefs to determine whether something is still true for me. I am interested in other points of view.

5. My spouse/partner is a good match for me. We share in a way that pleases me and have an ideal amount of separate space. We don't have to agree on everything.

6. I chose my occupation, or choose to remain in it, because it most closely utilizes my skills, strengths and passions.

7. I also choose my friends. I don't go along with a friendship that doesn't feel right just because that person pursued me.

8. The spirituality I practice feeds my soul.

9. I have aspirations. I spend time thinking about them and taking action toward those that are most important to me.

10. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.

11. When I or a family member is sick, I listen to the appropriate health care provider. If the advice doesn't feel right, I get a second opinion.

12. On the rare occasion when I let someone break a boundary or persuade me to do something I don't want to do, as soon as I'm aware of it, I take steps to stop and correct the situation.

If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify what is truly important to you and then find ways to bring your life into greater alignment with those values. Please don't hesitate to e-mail or call if you'd like support in doing this.

Author's content used with permission, © Claire Communications

IDENTITY UNLEASHED, an evangelistic event with Jeremy Lin, Francis Chan and Tyler Ward in the Bay Area is sold out. Ten thousand seats have been reserved in less than one month. The website has the following Sold Out message on 8/14/13.

"Thanks for your interest in the event, unfortunately we are currently at capacity and will not be releasing any further tickets at this time. We will have a stand by line on the day of the event as we anticipate that not everyone who has RSVP'd will show up, entrance for stand by line will begin at 5:30 pm. Thank you!"

If you have registered, don't forget to (1) bring your e-ticket to exchange for a real ticket at the door or (2) release it if you cannot make it; this will give someone else a chance.

Saturday, 9/7/13 from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
Event at 6:00, door opens at 4:00, stand by line opens at 5:30 p.m.
Cow Palace, 2600 Geneva Avenue, Daly City, CA 94014
Free admission (bring your e-ticket to exchange for real ticket at the door OR stand by)
Parking at Cow Palace is $15.

Whether you are going or not, please pray for the event -- people (e.g. guests, speakers, musicians, organizers, volunteers, etc.), messages, and logistics. Pray for safety and protection. May the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ fill Cow Palace and all of the Bay Area. For event details and last minute info, please visit the Identity Unleashed 2013 Event Website here.
Winnis Chiang Winnis Chiang is Founder and CEO of Parenting ABC, a company dedicated to teaching and coaching Chinese Christian parents from around the world how to make a difference in the lives of children, youth, and young adults. Her passion is fueled by the new life she received when she found Christ in 1989 after her marriage and parenting were no longer working. She specializes in helping Mandarin and Cantonese speaking parents to get along with, enjoy, and influence their American Born Chinese children.

Winnis is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in California. She holds a M.A. degree in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling from Western Seminary and a B.Sc. degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science from U.C. Berkeley. Her former careers include being a software engineer, development department manager, stay-at-home mom, counselor of kids and teens at public schools, and children's minister.

Winnis and her husband (now a pastor) have been married since 1975 after only three months of dating. They enjoy their son, daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren!

Winnis Chiang, M.A., LMFT


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