Winnis Chiang Newsletter
  Personal Note From Winnis
  Feature Article - Overcoming Overwhelm By Coming Back To Ourselves
  Chinese Article - Building A House Of Grace For Growth
December 8, 2015
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Hello,

Not ready for Christmas and New Year? Having too much to do at home, work or church? Stressed out by all the bad news in the world?

Wait! Don't forget that Jesus is the reason for this season. Matthew 1:23 reads, "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" (which means "God with us").

How would your life be different trusting that God loves you and is with you all the time?

May the feature article Overcoming Overwhelm By Coming Back To Ourselves give you a new perspective and alternative.

Love, Joy, Peace and Hope to You!
Winnis
Featured Article
Overcoming Overwhelm By Coming Back To Ourselves

Look in any thesaurus. The synonyms for overwhelm are pretty awful: overpower, subdue, oppress, quash, engulf, swallow, submerge, bury, suffocate.

Stress. Moan. Groan.

To anyone who's experienced overwhelm, and that's plenty of us, those words may be all too familiar. Whether the overwhelm is sudden or cumulative, chronic or acute, the feeling is one of drowning, immobility and powerlessness.

During those times, everything feels too big. It's not just everyday busyness and packed schedules. When we're overwhelmed, making dinner becomes a monumental effort. Better eat out. Bills, housework, homework? Forget it. Tasks that used to take only 10 or 15 minutes now seem utterly impossible. There seems to be no time for anything. So we do nothing.

Worse, we have no faith that this, too, shall pass. We seem hopelessly mired in the quicksand of "too much." We keep trying to will our way out of the quicksand with a will that just wants to lie down.

We live in a very overwhelming time—much more so than in decades past, says Jan Boddie, Ph.D., a California therapist who trains individuals and consults with businesses on the topic.

Things are speeding up. Technology's well-touted time saving seems to have yielded less leisure time, not more. Companies are demanding longer work hours. Many adults are sandwiched between the needs of older and younger generations.

"We have really lost connection, not just with nature, but with our own true human nature," Boddie says. "We're sidetracked. Our lives are in such fast forward that we don't even recognize we might need help until we're drowning."

Part of the problem is the cultural belief system in place, one that overrates doing and achievement and underrates quality of experience and connection with values.

In that cultural mindset, it's not uncommon for a friend or a magazine article, with all good intention, to suggest the "Nike solution": Just do it. Make priorities. Choose three things and accomplish them quickly. Go through the mail as soon as it arrives. Do a "brain dump" and create a huge to-do list with everything that you can think of on it. Now get started!

Not bad suggestions necessarily, but overcoming overwhelm isn't really about measuring accomplishment. It's about connecting with what has meaning for us, with what feeds and enlivens us.

"Putting on a whole new sense of doing-ness is overwhelming," Boddie says. "It creates a future-based state of mind that never ends because there will always be more to do. Being in relationship with what has meaning is fulfilling in the here and now. Feeling connected then connects us to the natural fuel for getting things done."

Thus, when we come into alignment with our values and needs, we find the inner resources and spaciousness needed to get on with life.

First, however, we need to identify our individual symptoms and triggers for overwhelm. Our symptoms can be physical (e.g., nail biting, clumsiness, neck ache); psychological (forgetful, rude, defensive); social (poor hygiene, inadequate boundaries); or spiritual (loss of sense of purpose, unsure of what's important).

Triggers are just as individual: a deadline, a certain tone of voice, change.

Noticing these symptoms and triggers is like setting off the two-minute warning buzzer: time for intervention techniques. And after we've come back to ourselves, it's time for prevention techniques, such as adequate rest, nutrition, exercise and, as always, connection to purpose.

"The focus that matters is in your heart," Boddie says. "Connect with yourself and then that self can do the tasks."

After becoming a Christian, I found out that "connecting with myself" means knowing who I am in Christ. Sometimes God doesn't want me to do everything, and the Holy Spirit will guide me to do the most important thing and give me the confidence that, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)

Would you like to come back to yourself? May I suggest first to connect with the Lord Almighty (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) who wants to have a personal relationship with you?

Author's content used with permission, © Claire Communications

Real Life Story
Building A House Of Grace For Growth

I have learned many things the hard way. That's why I like to share my life experience with you.

One afternoon almost ten years ago, our son's unexpected visit inspired me to write something about how family members can grow together. The English article was published in my newsletter on 5/13/2006. A few years later, it was translated into Chinese and published on the Fullness In Christ Fellowship website. Read my Chinese article, Building A House Of Grace For Growth, to see how love and respect were manifested in one family HERE.

By the way, you are always welcome to read my original article in English, go HERE.
about
Winnis Chiang Winnis Chiang is Founder of Parenting ABC, an organization dedicated to training and coaching Chinese Christian parents from around the world to make a difference in the lives of children, youth, and young adults. Her passion is fueled by the new life she received when she found Christ in 1989 after her marriage and parenting were no longer working. She specializes in helping Mandarin and Cantonese speaking parents to get along with, enjoy, and influence their American Born Chinese children.

Winnis is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in California. She holds a M.A. degree in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling from Western Seminary and a B.Sc. degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science from U.C. Berkeley. Her former careers include being a software engineer, development department manager, stay-at-home mom, counselor of kids and teens at public schools, and children's minister.

Winnis and her husband (now a pastor) have been married since 1975 after only three months of dating. They enjoy their son, daughter-in-law, and three grandchildren!

Winnis Chiang, M.A., LMFT

www.ParentingABC.com

925-806-8600

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